Friday Links: Sexy movies, lightning, Koroshi and how to protect your mug.

Trailer for the new movie Donkey Punch staring Jamie Winstone “”After meeting at a nightclub in a Mediterranean resort, seven young adults decide to continue partying aboard a luxury yacht in the middle of the ocean. But when one of them dies in a freak sex accident the others argue about what to do, leading to a ruthless fight for survival.” What is the world coming to?

Karōshi which can be translated quite literally from Japanese as “death from overwork”. Please note there is no English word for this phenomenon.

Video footage taken by a person who was struck by lightning “Because you insisted, here’s the unedited screaming version.”

Lockcup. A cup which must be plugged up using a special key before it can be used. A novel way of preventing work mates from using your mug without having to pretend to have rabies.

Kitten rescued using Vacuum cleaner.

Alvin the kitten had a difficult first day. Only 6 hours after being born Alvin from Dunbar, East Lothian he found himself trapped in a pipe under the sink of his owner Claire Coutts’ house. Alvin, who had yet to learn what a pipe is thought it was worth a quick exploration only to find himself stuck fast.

The Lothian and Borders Fire and Rescue Service not being the type of people to under react sent two fire engines and eight firefighters. Using a vibrascope camera they located the pussy and began preparations to remove the floorboards to gain better access to the pipe. Suddenly Claire had an idea:

“I said to them there must be an easier way to get the kitten out than destroying my kitchen so we decided to get the Hoover out and see if we could suck it out the hole. We put a sock over the end of the Hoover, stuck it down the hole and out it popped.”

Reports that all fire stations are to be given custom built Dyson vacuum cleaners with special cat grabbing Dyson parts are as yet unconfirmed.

Woman found not guilty thanks to sausage.

A woman who was stopped by police because she was carrying a knife has been found not guilty as she was seen handling a sausage. Jane Bellas was stopped on the A6 near Penrith by police in January.

During her trial at Carlisle Crown Court the prosecution accepted that Mrs Bellas needed the knife for her job on a fast food stall at the town’s market. The vital piece of evidence in the case was the witness statement by a health inspector who saw the accused “tinkering with a generator there, while handling a sausage”.

Mrs Bellas was relived to be found not guilty and was given £10 to cover her travelling expenses. Reports that she has already spent the money on a big German Bratwurst remain unconfirmed.

Friday Links.

The Bootyful Game. What if football was played by beautiful girls rather than funny looking men? [video]

FiveThingsToKnow wrote a post recently which caught my eye: A guide to choosing a vacuum cleaner. I threw out my old vacuum just the other day. It had lost it’s ability to suck up dust which effectively turned it into a very large, ugly paperweight. A lot of people seem to recommend Dyson vacuum cleaners. I’m not that bothered as long as it sucks!

Iggy Pop’s rider. “We need one (1) monitor man who speaks good English and is not affraid of death…”

Another stupid tattoo (see previous stupid tattoo post) this time of Patrick Swayze. As a centaur. With a rainbow. Obviously.

Scientists have created a map that shows the differences among smells, potentially enabling odors to be digitized and transferred with computers. At last, one step closer to smell-o-vision!

Guide to the British Summer.

The summer seems to have arrived here much to my surprise. Last year we hardly even got a summer. A few weeks of vaguely good weather followed by a lot of rain. I know I shouldn’t really moan about the weather until we get a cyclone or people start passing out in the streets but being English I just can’t help it. Suddenly people are ripping off their woolly jumpers exposing their pale limbs to the scorching sunlight. This time next week we will all be shuffling to work in the rain the only difference we will be the strange lobster pink colour that our skin has turned.

With no world cup this year and England not participating in Euro 2008 (the European Championships) people are going to need something else to focus on this summer. Perhaps whilst the Euro Finals are going on we could distract ourselves with a game of British Summer Bingo? This might also be good for any tourists planning to visit us over the summer. Here’s what you need to keep your eyes out for:

Socks and Sandals: A great British fashion classic.

Bald man wearing a handkerchief as a sun hat.

Men walking/driving into lampposts (distracted by girls in bikinis)

Chav in summer outfit (Burberry Baseball cap, no top, can of beer in hand)

British family on a trip to the seaside (carrying enough supplies/equipment to support an army)

People going on walks for the first time this year (perhaps more to do with Petrol prices than the weather)

People complaining that it’s too hot (normally by about day 2)

Old people still wearing big coats and woolly hats.

Goths dressed all in black searching for shade.

If you spot all of those congratulations you have experienced the Great British summer, now get back to work, maybe next year you will be able to go to The Bahamas.

number of horns on a unicorn

Ever wondered how many horns are on a unicorn? If so you are not alone, the phrase ‘number of horns on a unicorn’ is the 93rd most popular search term in google today. Whist looking on google.com/trends I was shocked to see this question in amongst the names of recently disgraced authority figures and female celebrities who have trouble keeping on their clothes.

It turns out that this is the latest google trick, type the phrase into google and it will give you the answer along with the search results. For a similar trick try typing ‘french military victories’ in and press ‘I’m feeling lucky’.

For those of you still wondering what the answer is, here is a clue: unicorn.

Search ‘number of horns on a unicorn’ on google.

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Another Tattoo blunder

About a month ago a wrote a blog post about Joanne Raine, a girl from Darlington who ended up regretting her tattoo. Well now another tale of regret and ink has emerged.

Alan Jenkins decided to express his love for his family in the tradional way, a tattoo covering the whole of his back.

Alan spent 20 hours under the needle at a cost of £870. As you can guess things went downhill from there. The tattoo isn’t actually that bad. The drawings of his daughters Daniella and Jade, and his wife Lisa look quite like them. This is a minor miracle as normally tattoos of peoples faces look horrible.

The problems occured when Alans wife of 15 years ran off with a 25 year old Latvian fittness instructor Kaspars Gavars. Alan remains positve despite his cheating wife’s face following him everywhere he goes, saying

“I’ve still got plenty of room on my chest if I get hooked up again.”

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The world’s first betting shop millionaire.

A north Yorkshire man became the world’s first betting shop millionaire last week, by beating odds of two million to one. The unnamed gambler struck it lucky by predicting the winners of 8 races. His original bet of 50p has netted him £1 million.

What makes the story even more unbelivable is that the first of the 8 horses to win was called “Isn’t That Lucky” and the eighth was called “A Dream Come True.
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