Don’t call it man-flu!

I’ve just recovered from my first Cold/virus of the year and It was typically brutal. Yes brutal. If you’re female then you may believe in something called man-flu which means a cold blown out of all proportion, but this is a common mistake. Lets just say that if you think childbirth is bad, try having man-flu.

Right, now that I’ve offended half of my readership (that’s around 0 people stats fans!) its time to tell you how I experience colds. My colds are similar to my performance in the bedroom i.e messy but mercifully quick. They also tend to go like this:

• Day 1: Feel okay but a little sniffy.

• Day 2: Feel like death. Unable to get up. Outwardly appear like an extra in a war film who’s leg has just been blown off. Rummage through the bathroom Cabernet like a drug addict in search of anything to dull the pain. Almost all bodily fluids attempt to leave via the nearest exit. Unable to communicate anything other than “Please…[COUGH]…kill…[SNEEZE]…me”

• Day 3: Feel okay but a little sniffy.

Car troubles.

I’m starting to think I need a new car. I’ve had my trusty little Nova for about 3 years now (by trusty I mean completely untrustworthy, the only time it seems to be in full working order is on m.o.t day, somehow). She is held together by rust and still bares the scars of my early experiments with parking techniques.

I left the house this morning armed with a bottle of warm water, a scraper and my car keys, naively thinking this might be enough set me on my way without too much trouble.

 

Once I had scraped all the ice from the windows I tried to get inside. Several minutes and a few swearwords later I climbed in through the passenger side door. This is when I discovered the ice on the inside of the windscreen, always a pleasant surprise!

My joy at the fact that the car had actually started soon disappeared as icy cold drops of water began dripping onto my face from the sunroof above me.

 

Still I suppose it’s better than walking.