Kitten rescued using Vacuum cleaner.

Alvin the kitten had a difficult first day. Only 6 hours after being born Alvin from Dunbar, East Lothian he found himself trapped in a pipe under the sink of his owner Claire Coutts’ house. Alvin, who had yet to learn what a pipe is thought it was worth a quick exploration only to find himself stuck fast.

The Lothian and Borders Fire and Rescue Service not being the type of people to under react sent two fire engines and eight firefighters. Using a vibrascope camera they located the pussy and began preparations to remove the floorboards to gain better access to the pipe. Suddenly Claire had an idea:

“I said to them there must be an easier way to get the kitten out than destroying my kitchen so we decided to get the Hoover out and see if we could suck it out the hole. We put a sock over the end of the Hoover, stuck it down the hole and out it popped.”

Reports that all fire stations are to be given custom built Dyson vacuum cleaners with special cat grabbing Dyson parts are as yet unconfirmed.

Woman found not guilty thanks to sausage.

A woman who was stopped by police because she was carrying a knife has been found not guilty as she was seen handling a sausage. Jane Bellas was stopped on the A6 near Penrith by police in January.

During her trial at Carlisle Crown Court the prosecution accepted that Mrs Bellas needed the knife for her job on a fast food stall at the town’s market. The vital piece of evidence in the case was the witness statement by a health inspector who saw the accused “tinkering with a generator there, while handling a sausage”.

Mrs Bellas was relived to be found not guilty and was given £10 to cover her travelling expenses. Reports that she has already spent the money on a big German Bratwurst remain unconfirmed.

number of horns on a unicorn

Ever wondered how many horns are on a unicorn? If so you are not alone, the phrase ‘number of horns on a unicorn’ is the 93rd most popular search term in google today. Whist looking on google.com/trends I was shocked to see this question in amongst the names of recently disgraced authority figures and female celebrities who have trouble keeping on their clothes.

It turns out that this is the latest google trick, type the phrase into google and it will give you the answer along with the search results. For a similar trick try typing ‘french military victories’ in and press ‘I’m feeling lucky’.

For those of you still wondering what the answer is, here is a clue: unicorn.

Search ‘number of horns on a unicorn’ on google.

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Another Tattoo blunder

About a month ago a wrote a blog post about Joanne Raine, a girl from Darlington who ended up regretting her tattoo. Well now another tale of regret and ink has emerged.

Alan Jenkins decided to express his love for his family in the tradional way, a tattoo covering the whole of his back.

Alan spent 20 hours under the needle at a cost of £870. As you can guess things went downhill from there. The tattoo isn’t actually that bad. The drawings of his daughters Daniella and Jade, and his wife Lisa look quite like them. This is a minor miracle as normally tattoos of peoples faces look horrible.

The problems occured when Alans wife of 15 years ran off with a 25 year old Latvian fittness instructor Kaspars Gavars. Alan remains positve despite his cheating wife’s face following him everywhere he goes, saying

“I’ve still got plenty of room on my chest if I get hooked up again.”

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The world’s first betting shop millionaire.

A north Yorkshire man became the world’s first betting shop millionaire last week, by beating odds of two million to one. The unnamed gambler struck it lucky by predicting the winners of 8 races. His original bet of 50p has netted him £1 million.

What makes the story even more unbelivable is that the first of the 8 horses to win was called “Isn’t That Lucky” and the eighth was called “A Dream Come True.
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